places to have fun

My intent is to go to Hell. That's where all the whores are!

~anonymous

good philosophy on daily living

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
safely in a pretty well preserved body, rather to skid in broadside thoroughly
used up, totally worn out and proclaiming...WOW what a ride!

~Dr. Blues

southern sayings

even a blind hog can find an acorn once in a while

elections

"It's not the people who vote that count. It's the people who count the votes."
- Joseph Stalin

just plain funny

Non-reciprocal principle: If you add a cup of wine to a barrel of sewage,you get a barrel of sewage. If you add a cup of sewage to a barrel of wine,you get a barrel of sewage.

a little perspective

If a guy spends all his time looking down the hole in the outhouse, things will look pretty shitty, but that's only a small part of what there is to see in the world.

aphrodesiac

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increasesexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among theseis the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible."
- P. J. O'Rourke

definition of a conservative

"A conservative is a man who sits and thinks, mostly sits."
- Woodrow Wilson

a swisswatch

"You know there are only two things as beautiful as a good gun; a swiss watch or a woman from anywhere. You ever have a swiss watch?"
Cherry Valance to Matthew Garth -- Red River

smoking pipes

" The cigarette is like a prostitute: You use it once, and then drop it. But the pipe is like a faithfull wife..." From N.Kazantzakis' novel " Zorba the Greek".

...Pipes stay with a man when much else doesn't.

fits like a glove

"The best things in life are free, that's why I'm good for nothing!"

longevity

"Don't get upset, drink plenty of coffee, and smoke."
-Javier Pereira (allegedly 167 years old) on the secrets to longevity.

on going fishing

"Be careful where you fish, who you fish with, and what you catch."

farm animals are fun

You can't teach a pig to sing, it's impossible and annoys the pig.

Don't wrestle with pigs, you'll only get dirty and the pig will have all the fun.

to good friends

"Friends help you move, real friends help you move bodies"

on organized religion

"The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself."
-Richard Francis Burton, explorer and writer (1821-1890)

Quentin Crisp originals

"Fashion is what you adopt when you don't know who you are."

"Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level."

"Health consists of having the same diseases as one's neighbors."

"Sex is the last refuge of the miserable."

"The consuming desire of most human beings is deliberately to plant their whole life in the hands of some other person. I would describe this method of searching for happiness as immature. Development of character consists solely in moving toward self-sufficiency."

"Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne."

"The young always have the same problem - how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another."

"The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us."

~Quentin Crisp

historical view of religion

"Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction."-- Blaise Pascal